Meaning in Motherhood: Tristan's Birth Story

Tristan Carter Charnock - 5/24/2017 - 8:09am - 10 lbs 5 oz - 21 inches

A couple months prior to Tristan, we found out we were pregnant with our 3rd baby. We sadly miscarried that pregnancy around 5 weeks. Not too long after that terrible day we found out we were pregnant again and we were elated. Our rainbow baby.

Announcing the pregnancy from Seaside, OR at the Marriage Retreat.

Found out and revealed his gender on New Year's Eve with friends and family!

Last date night with Zach before he arrived.

1 day after his due date. 6 days before he decided to come out. Can you tell I was SO done? :)

Mr. Tristan was due on Wednesday May 17 and in his brother's footsteps came 1 week later on Wednesday May 24th. The last trimester of this pregnancy was brutal on me physically and emotionally, but that last week....that was rough. I had this expectation that being the third kid, he'd come at least "on time" if not early. My desire was to make it past Copelynn and Easton's birthday party (May 6) before he came. If I only knew we were quite safe and would actually have to make it almost 3 more weeks...

Very anxious to get him out of me and into the world, I met with my midwife on Tuesday May 23rd and discussed taking castor oil just like I did with Easton. I planned to go grab it that evening and take it the next morning, but I kept putting off going to the store and decided not to in the end because I had this sneaky feeling that we might not actually need it. And at 4am the next morning I found out I was right! I woke up with for reals contractions that morning and knew for sure that this was his entrance day. Those brutal contractions were going to get our baby here. Wanting to give Zach all the rest he could get, I decided to eat breakfast and shower and get ready to go. Around 5am I knew I'd better wake him up with the way I was feeling. Then I called his amazing sister to tell her it was time. She came and we left for The Birth House around 5:30am.

They have two birthing rooms at The Birth House and with our other two kids there had never been any other women in labor when we were, but much to our surprise there were already two women in full on labor taking up both the rooms that morning. What the!? I'm sure it was a crazy morning for our midwives! They set us up in one of the appointment rooms. Still had space and a couch and a closed door, but definetly not the super comfortable & peaceful atmosphere of the birthing rooms with the bed and tub, etc.

I labored for a bit and felt like I had to start pushing around 6:30am. The more I tried to push the more I thought this feels SO different than the other two. Pushing Copelynn and Easton out was hard, but it didn't feel impossible. With them I could feel the progress as I pushed. I could feel them coming down and out. I knew all my hard work was getting us somewhere and never felt that I legitimately couldn't do it. As painful as it was, I knew the whole time they'd come and I could do it. But with Tristan, the more I pushed the more hopeless I felt. The kid was hardly making any progress at all after an 1hr+ of pushing. With the way he was struggling to come out and how much pain I was in, I started to think this is impossible. I cannot do this. I am not the right person for this job. Take me to the hospital. Cut him out. Use a vacuum.

Later on we found out he was posterior (sunny side up) and HUGE (10 lbs 5 oz, after pooping as he came out) so what was happening this whole time is he just kept getting my pelvic bone every time I pushed. I pushed him down to a certain point and then with my position and his position, he wasn't coming any farther. My midwife had me walk up and down the stairs (much to my demise) and we tried all sorts of different positions. Then we got to a point where his heart rate had dropped pretty low for a considerable amount of time, a couple different times. My midwife said to the birth assistant "call 911" after she checked his heart rate one more time. Right then Zach and I got pretty nervous. This was kind of our worst fear. Having our babies out of the hospital, we know there's risk if something were to go "wrong." But our other two births at the midwifery went seamlessly. They were both born healthy and perfect out of the hospital. No interventions needed. No emergencies. We had full trust that our midwives know what they're doing and so did my body. I mean, I'd done this twice before! So when Tristan's birth started to get complicated and scary, we were in a whole new place we'd never been before.

The ambulance peeps arrives literally minutes after our call to them. They got me (fully dilated with a 10+ lb baby in my birth canal) on the gurney and into the ambulance. Zach drove separately and my midwife came with me. Thankfully it was only a 2 mile drive to the hospital. They wheeled me moaning and groaning in labor to one of the delivery rooms.

Like I said, we'd never had a hospital birthing experience, so it was crazy to me. I felt like I was in a movie as they wheeled me past a bunch of desks and people while I cried out in pain every 30 seconds. Those people really got a show that morning.

They got me off the gurney and onto the hospital bed. There were literally like 5 nurses and 3 or 4 doctors + zach + my midwife in the room standing around my bed. Some were trying to put an IV in me as I had contractions every other minute, which made the IVs blow out and gave me 5 or 6 nice bruises for two week after. Some were on either side of me helping hold my legs back. Some were putting the monitoring probes on his head to keep track of his dipping heart rate. Some were just watching. Some were at the end of the bed coaching me through. It was kind of nuts. But Zach and my midwife were both right at my head helping me finish this thing.

We arrived at the hospital around 7:50am and Tristan was FINALLY born at 8:09am. I'm not exactly sure what the difference was of being there that helped me get him out, but I'm so thankful he arrived and it was without any vacuums or forceps or a C-section. I asked the doctor a couple times in that 19 minutes to "CUT HIM OUT!" "CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME!?!" but I am so thankful they believed enough in me to not give in to my pleas. And thankful that even though his heart rate was dipping, he was stable and strong enough to endure a little more pushing for me to get him out.

Maybe not being in the same comfortable, peaceful birthing room at the Birth House that I delivered Copelynn and Easton in hindered my labor. Or maybe it was not having the same midwife with me, as I had hoped, that delivered Copelynn and Easton. Maybe the ambulance ride and getting on and off the gurney jumbled Tristan and I around just enough to allow me to push him out. Or maybe we were just meant to be at the hospital so we could have the time there postpartum before we went back home to our other two kids. Who knows. Tristan's birth was not what I pictured, but all that matters is that he is here and we're both healthy as can be. And a bonus is that I didn't even tear while giving birth to our biggest baby yet. Thanks for the body to do that, God.