Giving Up On Good: Being Liked

I've so enjoyed this series; reading about the good things that women are giving up on in order to have something better has been so encouraging and inspiring! Seeing a group of women chase after God's heart is a beautiful thing.

This was my conversation with the Lord this morning:

"Jesus, what 'good thing' do I need to give up on in order to have something better, to have your best for me?"

Silence. Silence

"God?"
Then I felt the Holy Spirit whisper "being liked."
(its like he was waiting for me to be ready to hear that)

The amazing thing about Jesus is that he knows us. Inside and out. The things other people don't know and can't challenege me in becase I dont let them into that part of me....Jesus can because I can't hide anything from him. He already knows. And when you ask a question like I did, it's like opening up the door of your heart, where the best and worst of you resides, and saying "come in Jesus, what would you like to rearrange in here?"

Being Liked. Don't we all want to be liked and accepted? Yes. It's human nature. Part of community and relationships. I've always wanted this a little too much, though. I don't like conflict, I don't like to offend people or put them off or say anything that is hard for them to swallow or disagrees with their thoughts, because I want to be liked.

The more I mentor/disciple students and the more people God brings to my door step to speak into their lives, to counsel, or give advice to, the more I realize how much this desire to be liked is detremental to me and the things God has asked me to do. Jesus keeps putting me in stituations that require me to tell people the hard things, to say things that they might not want to hear, that might rub them wrong, etc....but for the good of them!

Just in the past two weeks, I've had like 5 of these experiences! And its good, so so good. But, difficult!

2 Timothy 1:2 says Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke, and encourage...

I am REALY good at encouraging. I have got that down like no one's business. I even encourage in my sleep. But, correct and rebuke? I'm not so sure about those. I don't like those ones. Picking and choosing what we want and don't want of Jesus is not an option. It's all or nothing.

So, I am giving up on being liked to be something better, to be something more frutiful for the Kingdom of God. To be more like Jesus, to do what he's put in front of me, to be the woman that he's calling me to step up and be. To challenge, to even correct and rebuke (with love). It might offend someone, it might rub someone the wrong way, it might be hard to swallow, but I'd rather be obedient and pleasing to God than pleasing to people.




Giving Up on Good 2.0

Yesterday I was reading my life journal....Philippians 3:12.


And my giving up on good for this week hit me:


Strong. I'm always trying to be strong. 


Not a bad thing. But as a daughter of Jesus, as a Christ follower, being strong is at times more of a hinderance than a good thing.


So, long story long, I am giving up on being strong....for something better....for something far more purposeful and eternal.


Sometimes life calls for us to be strong and other times it calls for us to give into the struggle.


And thats me. Hi, umm raising my hand. It's time to give into the struggle....the good kind of struggle. 


The kind of struggle between your flesh and your spirit. The kind of internal, mental, emotional struggle that you wrestle with. The kind of struggle that God allows you to go through to be more like him, to be more like the person he made you to be.


I'm giving into it and giving up on being strong.


Philippians 3:12 says: 'Not that i have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.'

I will never "arrive" as long as my feet walk this Earth, I will not have obtained it all and arrive at the place God has for me...for my mind body and soul. I am always on the journey to that place....until he comes back and we're in heaven.

Therefore, I will always have points of growth and failure and clutter and imperfections in my life. And right now that is my mindset, attitude, and perspective about living here in Washington; away from my family and in this nasty weather. Two things I didn't pray for but two things that I got.

That must mean that these things are useful for shaping me into the woman God created me to be. One thing this soul has to remind itself all the time is that it's okay to struggle. 

"You haven't arrived Aimee" is what i say to myself. "You are human. You get selfish you get angry you get stubborn you get an attitude."

It's not my duty to turn my humanness off. Its my duty to invite the Spirit of the living God in and say, here's my humanness, it's not pretty, but you love me and delight in me and see me and know me and are walking through this journey with me. And you can transform these things into things like surrender, perseverance, selfLESSness, and a testimony. Things that I literally do not have within myself. Things that cannot be conjured up. Things that are eternal and useful for your purpose. 

That's why I am in Washington. That's the journey I am on right now. That's my struggle. My flesh vs my spirit. And thats what God is loving and delighting in me through. 

Thank god he doesn't leave me. Thank god that he never gives up on me. Because I give up on me. But he sees me through to another day. He sees who I really am, when I dont. he sees all the things in me that I don't and he sees the end of this journey. 

So when I cry after seeing a father and daughter doing ministry together at church because my heart yearns for that so much, it's okay I will take heart because i am on a journey and god is shaping me.

When I hold back tears at seeing a friend and her sister-in-law live in the same town and watch as their kids as play together, it's okay I will take heart because gods doing a work in me.

When I get jealous of friends as they go to their family dinners every week, it's okay I'll take heart because god sees me.

When I get mad as I look at the weather on my phone for Olympia and then California, I will surrender to God because I know he cares for me.

When I see my niece spend weekly time with her grandma and grieve at the thought of my kids missing out on that, I will let it out because my Jesus loves to hear my concerns.

And when I am laughing and enjoying the company of people on Monday nights that might as well be my family, I will be grateful for Washington. 

When I am hanging out with my girlfriends who have become as close as sisters, who listen to my heart, encourage me, challenge me, and relate to me I will be grateful for Washington. 

When I am at Living Water's youth group, seeing high schooler's lives get changed forever by Jesus and ministering with a team of leaders that is like no other, I will be grateful for Washington.

When Zach and I are having dinner with a couple and get the joy of speaking into their lives and helping them through a season that  we  were just in a couple of years ago, I will be grateful for Washington.

When I lay my head on my pillow and see my husband that I love more than I can explain, When I stare into his eyes and think about how far we've come and where I'd be without him, where we'd be without all of the people who have poured into us along the way, I will be grateful for Washington.

Giving Up on Good 1.0

I am always encouraged, entertained, and amused by Rachael's blog and found this giving up on good thing there. (which origniated here)

 

The idea is a post that gracefully explains the good things we've given up on with the intention of taking care of the things that really matter to us.

Instead of perpetuating the lie that you have to do it all well, all efficient, all the time- what if we spoke life to one another and imparted grace to one another by waving our white flags and admitting the good things we've walked away from to pursue the better things.

The idea is to share one or two things each week that you've given up on. Because you know you can serve your family, the Lord, or just keep a sense of peace by focusing your time, energy, talent, resources where He wants it to be.

 

I didn't have to think long about what my giving up on good for this week was.  Without a doubt it is: Trying to fix my family.

I am the youngest and the only girl in my family...with 4 older brothers. See here for more details.

So, in my childhood and lifetime thus far, I've had 100,001 opprotunities to flex my peacekeeper, peacemaker, fight/arguement breaker upper skills. And to this day, it is a knee jerk reaction to keep the peace, be the middle mediator woman, and "fix" my family if you will.

I have decided to give it up. I've decided that I am not my family's savior, I am not my family's mediator, I am not responsible to resolve the issues that go on.

 

The funny thing is that no one asks me to solve their issues and no one even usually antagonizes me to get in the middle...I just feel this need to fix! More like, a need for control. I just put the issues on my own shoulders and jump right in!

 

As a sister, daughter, cousin, neice, grand daughter, etc, I do feel a responsibility to intercede and pray for my family...I think all family should have eachother's backs like that. I am going to do ALOT more of this and ALOT less stressin' and worrin' and fixin'!

 

Along with not fixing them comes loving them just for who they are and just how they are.

Neither of these things are possible without Jesus's love and wisdom. So, I ask him how to love when it's hard. And I ask him when I'm "fixing" instead of surrendering. And I ask him to do the changing.

 

 

And then my life is a lot simpler.

So, here I am, throwing in the towel, giving up the referee shirt and walking out of the ring...giving up on fixin'.