Yep, this is Enough

Copelynn is now 3 months and a couple days old! Not only has she been growing and changing every single day, but I feel like I have been just as much as her, too.  It's like were on this journey of discovering new things and seeing what we like and don't like together. She gets to learn to sit up and grab toys and roll over and I get to learn to settle into my new "career" and role and LIFE as a stay-at-home mom.  

The first couple months of settling into this have been like trying on a rack of clothes in the dressing room---some things feel really nice and fit great, others are terrible and do not fit at all. It's been a process of trying it all out. In this stay-at-home mom sphere there is no lack of pressure to do things a certain way with my house, my cooking, my routine, my baby, etc, etc....but that is stressville you guys.  In the process of settling into this life at home with Copelynn I've had to learn to let all the chitter chatter from our culture and even people around me go and learn what I like and what I want our life to look like. 

One of the biggest things I've wrestled with is being just a stay-at-home mom. Like it isn't enough.  That kind of attitude is so prevalent in our society these days that I've found myself partly buying into the lie, too. Like I should have something else going on. I should have a part time job or be doing school or somethinnnggggg besides just being a stay-at-home mom.  Or else I'm "too wrapped up in my kids and am going to lose me" or I'm "that kind of woman who's okay with not having a career" or I'm "throwing good years for a career down the drain" or "how will it look when you want to get back into the work force." 

In the past three months, though, I've realized the beauty of what I get to do.  I get to raise my babies. Not someone else. I get to love on them and snuggle them and watch them discover the world all day everyday. I get to keep our house running. I get to hardly miss a beat with Copelynn. And I love it. I absolutely love it. 

So why then do I sometimes kind of believe that bull crap? I think because I was not yet aware of the importance of what I'm doing. Before I really grasped how important of a "job" this is, I felt like I needed something else to make me more productive or important at the end of the day. I even went as far to see if a local cloth diaper store was hiring, or If i could do something from home--or thought maybe I could work at Starbucks again.

Then after nothing was really coming through, it was like some dynamite broke through a brick wall in my head and heart one day....This is enough. I don't need something else to add to resume right now.  Staying at home with our kids is enough.  And this is my call right now. This is my domain. This is my importance. This is where I need to be.  I am thankful and privileged. And proud. That this is my job. 

I don't think I'll ever look back and think "why didn't I work more." I think I'll look back and say "thank God I could stay home with my babies." 

And who wouldn't want to look at this face all day?

PS: If you're looking for a good book about staying home, read The Stay-At-Home Mom Survival Guide by Melissa Stanton.