It hits home and encourages me so much right now because at 36 weeks pregnant with our THIRD child I've come to realize I fear a lot of things right now. Which is weird because fear is typically not something I see as a huge challenge most of the time. But here and now in this season of my own life and our growing family....fear is real and a hurdle to fight.
Fear of physically having to push this baby out of my body soon. I've done it twice already, but it doesn't get any better or easier.
Fear of being a mom of three. It is a tad overwhelming. How will Easton and Copelynn do when I have to pay attention to a newborn AND them? How will I do juggling the sleep deprivation a newborn brings with the physical and emotional demands of a 4 and 2 year old?
Fear of being a great wife in the midst of the demands of three kids.
Fear of loosing it because it's all too much.
Fear of not having time to get back in shape.
Fear of how will I even go grocery shopping when this baby arrives...
Fear of a lot after this baby arrives simply because I have life down to a pretty good science with Copelynn and Easton. All the ins and outs of life--grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, date nights, church, family outings, our routine at home while daddy's at work, working my own job from home--the three of us do it well together. But adding another one in the mix with all of that....oh my...
So with all of this swirling around in my head more and more as my due date gets closer and closer, I have to be so intentional and diligent to cast down that fear and declare the truth of the Word of God over my mind and heart and life and family so I don't drown in my own worry.
The truth of the Word of God doesn't give me all the answers to my "how" questions, but it does remind of who my God is and who I am in him. And when I can cling onto that instead of all the insecurities that fear brings I can walk in peace and joy and confidence that I am called to be right where I am. God has created me to raise these children and given me all I need emotionally and physically in HIM and the people around me to do it. The key is that it takes 100% dependence and focus on Him and his truth....not dependence on myself and my thoughts because I am truly incapable and too flawed and too human to do it.
4 more weeks. So excited to meet this little guy. I feel like I already know him after feeling his kicks and rolls and movements for so long now, but cannot wait to see his sweet face and hold him in our arms.
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