The HOME T-shirt

Eight years later and here I am, wearing this shirt. Never ever in a million bajillion years did I think you'd catch me wearing this, let alone buying it, let alone have the story behind it. 

If you see me out wearing this everyday for the next three weeks, just smile and nod and understand I just feel SO sentimental about it! 

Because I'm so amazed at what God has done. So amazed that this gets to be our reality and our HOME.

My journey with Washington started 8 1/2 years ago when my mom and I drove up to visit the Church of Living Water in Olympia to check out the Anthem Internship program.  

Before I go on let me give you a little context so you get the depth of the story. I am Californian---born and raised. No snow. Hardly any rain. 3 overcast/cloudy days a year. Just sun and heat. And lots of it. Mild winters. And like 9 months of summer weather.

When my mom and I visited in April 2008 it was SNOWING. IN APRIL. I just thought it was super cool! Didn't really think about the fact that snow = COLD. 

Naive California girl fell in love with the people and the idea of moving. Long story short, 5 months later in September 2008 my mom and I drove back up here; this time with all the stuff I could pack into my little Saturn and a one way ticket back to California for her. 

My intent was to do one year of Anthem. Then go back home. And do what at home? Not sure. But, absolutely no plans to stay longer.

God had very different plans. I ended up doing a second year. Then ended up falling in love with this amazing guy from my Anthem class. Who also did a 2nd year. We dated. We finished our 2nd year. He asked my dad some questions about some plans involving a ring. My dad said yes. Then I said yes when he got down on one knee and put a ring on my finger in the summer of 2010. And just like that we got married 3 months later in October 2010. 

We got jobs to support our married selves here in Washington, but as we settled into our life together my heart still yearned for California. I still held onto dreams and plans of moving back. Because that was the plan! This Washington thing was still very temporary in my mind. But by the time we knew it, we were in a lease for an apartment, both working full time, buying a new car, just doing life. In Washington.

And I'm like..umm...wait. It's WAY past my one year mark and I'm still here. Not really the plan. Love my husband, love being married, but pretty sure I still don't love this rainy, cloudy place.

And that was my huge, huge struggle for literally years. 

I got a happy light to help me feel more sun. I visited my family here and there to satisfy the "homesick" thing. But nothing really fixed this hole in my heart where moving back to California was. Letting go of that desire to move back meant embracing WA as "home" and it made me sick to my stomach to think about doing that.

I cried about it often. I remember feeling so sorrowful about deeply missing my family. Deeply missing my California. I was very happy as a newly married woman with the man of my dreams, but my family was still my comfort. And California/everything in it was still my 'familiar.' I was still in that transition phase of "leaving father and mother and cleaving to husband." I didn't have a problem with the husband part. I did have a problem with the location in which I was having to do it.

The tuning point in my desperation to move back to California and my struggle with the Washington weather/accepting that God would have us here for longer than I planned was becoming a mama. And that was in 2013. Yep, only 5 years of being super stubborn :) There was something almost unexplainable that happened in me as I was pregnant with Copelynn and gave birth to her. It was like all of the sudden being here had more meaning. And it started to be okay it.

I didn't day dream about moving anymore, I didn't talk about it much anymore. It didn't occupy my mind all the time anymore. I still used my happy light in the winter months, but that heavy burden of hating living in Washington (a lot because of the weather) was becoming a memory instead of a reality. And my reality of being a mom almost forced me to accept and embrace it. To stay a healthy person inside I had to start letting some roots grow down here in Washington. Like making new friendships and connecting with people on a deeper level so we could survive this parenting gig. 

Fast Forward 3 years later to today in 2016 and my heart couldn't be more full. I thought this shirt was an impulse buy, but truly I think it is an outward expression of the joy I have for all God has done in my heart and all he has done in our lives in Washington.  My heart feels like its going to burst with thankfulness and amazement and transformation. Because my heart was stubborn and hard!

I was so lost and wandering when I came here. Looking for purpose, looking for what I was supposed to do with my life. I was 19. Just a kid. And here I am now, 27 years old, happily married to my best friend raising two beautiful, healthy, incredible little miracles together. Raising them in a place I never would have picked, but that God knew would be just right for us.

It's "roots" like buying our first home here, bringing our babies home here, Zach's 7+ year career at a great company here, the amazing relationships we've formed, the people we get to live life with and raise our kids with. People that have walked with us through good and terrible times. People that've truly loved us and become like family. That's what makes Washington home. And that's why I needed this shirt from Etsy to show off how good our God is. 

Thanks God for making Washington HOME.