Don't Neglect Your Gift

I had a topic brewing in my heart yesterday to blog about.  I went over it again and again in my mind throughout the day, trying to keep it fresh until the kids afforded me the opportunity to get it out on paper. 

Then one of our kids had a meltdown. I didn't handle it as I wish I would have and ended up dealing out consequences in complete anger instead of calm, firm love. 

As soon as the ordeal was over and the room was quiet I heard that lying whisper: 

There goes that word you were going to blog about.

You messed up. How could you write about this when you messed up with that.

Hypocrite.

Disqualified.

After mulling it over the rest of the day and sleeping on it, I was like BACK UP DEVIL WITH ALL YOUR LIES. I know those aren't true. 

I know that I've been forgiven, and therefore can forgive not only others, but also myself.

I know that the devil is an accuser and God is a redeemer. 

I know that God doesn't revoke my gifts or talents when I mess up.

I know that I can fall and get right back up again because my righteousness is in Christ, not my own efforts.  Thank goodness. 

I know that we all fall short, and yet in Christ, that doesn't disqualify us. 

I know that my "qualification" to write or speak truth is simply my identity in Christ and nothing else. His love towards me is unconditional. 

And yet, I had decided that nope, I wasn't going to blog about that topic on my heart anymore. I'd keep it inside and that's where it'd stay. It's too risky. It's too vulnerable. 

God had different thoughts on my decision.  I opened up this morning to 2nd Timothy and this is what jumped off the page at me:

"Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you." 2Timothy 4:14

We all have gifts that need to be used. Other people's lives depend on them.  Gods plan? To use people to help people. We each are the person on one side of that formula for someone else.  

We can't hide it under a rock. We can't tuck it away to never be seen or heard or used.  What a shame. And what a slap in the face to God who gave us certain talents and abilities for very specific reasons and people! 

I recently finished Girl, Wash your Face by Rachel Hollis. In one of the chapters she talks about why she creates and it wrecked me.  She doesn't create for others. She doesn't create for accolades or applause. She doesn't read reviews anymore on what she creates. She creates because it's a gift God gave her and she loves to do it. She loves the way it gives life to her bones. It doesn't matter if one person in the entire world likes what she puts out there. What matters is what using her artistry does for HER soul. 

I soooooo needed to hear this! And that is my M.O. from here on out.  I don't care how many people like my posts. I don't care how many people leave a comment. I don't care how many people share anything I put out there. I want to write because God gave me the heart to do it and as I let that gift flow, I believe it'll give a new life and excitement and JOY to my soul.  It's my job to steward what God's given me and His job to use it.