That Time I Went Swim Suit Shopping After Having 3 Kids

I turned 29 this past February. 
I had my third child a year ago May.
And I went swim suit shopping a couple weeks ago. 

I found a stellar swim suit.  My husband loves it! And I love it! Butttt.....reality hit me in the face that day in the dressing room.

The closer that I've gotten to the big 3-0, the more aware I've become of my slowing metabolism. Gone are the days that I can get away with eating junk and not seeing the effects of it.  No longer can I shovel dessert into my mouth and run it off the next day. Then add in having three (BIG) babies living in my uterus in the past 5 years. The mid section has taken a beating.

I had to make some big decisions that day. Not on the swim suit I'd buy, but on how I'd reconcile these feelings and realities about the skin I'm in.

Will I be confident or insecure? I will be proud or shy & ashamed. Will I love this body even when it's not quite where I want it to be?

Here's the thing you guys; 

This body carried three babies in it for 40+ weeks each. Growing them from the size of a grain of rice to 8 or 9 or 10 lb human beings. Growing little ears, fingers, toes, eyes, hands, feet. Getting all the nutrients needed from MY body for 40+ weeks each. That is AMAZING.

Copelynn - 2013

Easton - 2015

Tristan - 2017

This body labored through and pushed out three large babies. And with no pain meds. I remember every wave of pain, every grueling minute I endured, every hour that I persevered, every moment I didn't think my body could do it, and the spectacular moment when my body finally DID bring those precious little ones into the world. That is INCREDIBLE. 

And this body nursed and fed those three babies. This body solely kept those babies alive for the first 6 months of their little, fragile lives. Giving them all the nutrients and goodness they needed to develop. Whether it was 2pm and 2am. Around the clock. No matter what. Through the cracked, hurting nipples or engorged breasts or the milk supply issues...this body sacrificed so those babies could have mama's milk until 1 year old. (It might've felt like a sacrifice during, but I'm pretty sure the sacrifice is more so on the back end...the aftermath of one's chest post-nursing three kids. lol!) 

Each stretch mark on this body is a reminder of the healthy thriving children who gave me them. Each squish that I wish was not squish is a reminder that this body has had the privilege to bear life!

Maybe you had a baby a couple months ago or a year ago like me.  Maybe 3 years ago or even 5 or 10 years ago and you're not where you want to be yet physically. Its okay! This is your journey and its okay! It's not wrong. It's reality and its okay.  We have to stop comparing ourselves to all the fit people on Instagram and in magazines. We have to stop comparing ourselves to friends or family older than us, younger than us, the same age as us, moms with more kids, moms with less kids, moms with the same amount of kids, women with no kids. Comparison is the thief of joy. And the thief of your CONFIDENCE and SECURITY. I've done this. But I don't want to throw my joy and confidence away anymore. 

I know that I'm worth the discipline to keep reaching towards my goals for my physical body.  To be able to run after these rambunctious kiddos as they get faster and stronger! And set an example for them in diet and exercise and self worth.  But in the mean time while I'm not quite where I want to be yet, I will be kind to myself and believe the truth of what God says about me--I am loved right here and now and beautiful inside and out at each stage of the journey...not just when I reach my goals. When we stop giving weight to what people think about us, we can find our confidence in something else besides the ever changing opinions of others. 

Make no mistake, moms; our daughters will see the way we look at ourselves in the mirror and talk about ourselves. And they will eventually take on our same ways.  So let this be your permission for freedom. Freedom from negative self talk and insecurity. Freedom to be confident where you're at RIGHT NOW. To take care of and love the skin you're in no matter where you're at on the journey.  


So if you've birthed some babies, join me in focusing on and appreciating all the awesome things your body has done instead of comparing it to someone else or even your pre-pregnant self.  I'm pretty proud, and you should be too!