We were in the Walmart parking lot, of all places, and I was feeding Copelynn in between our grocery shopping errands. Nowadays I feed her 4 times a day, so its a normal routine 10ish minutes that were both very accustomed to...but today those 10ish minutes melted my heart.
In the midst of a lame, cold parking lot and a busy hustle-bustle day, Copelynn sat on my lap to eat and her big blue eyes stared into mine without distraction, her little hands with her chubby fingers reached up to touch my face and poke my eyes and I stroked her head of light brown hair and told her how much I love her....for just about the whole 10 minutes of feeding.
It was so, so sweet.
These are the kind of moments that remind me why I breastfeed. It is so much more than feeding. It's something only her and I share. And the connection that has grown and developed as she has grown and developed is so precious. It has only allowed my love to deepen for her. I SO cherish the opportunity to be the one who gets to give her what she needs to grow and be healthy, but also to nurture her and love on her in only a way I can.
Moments like today are the times when I want to stop the clock and just stay a little longer. They're why I love nursing. They're why I probably won't wean her at 12 months :)
Let's be real though...it hasn't always been so sweet and tender!
The first and second months of nursing I kind of felt like a cow. And I lived with nipple cream in my pocket. There was no sweet eye gazing, there was no reaching up to touch my face...there was just eating. Lots and LOTS of eating. We were those crazy 1st time parents that wanted to do everything right, therefore I logged every feeding in my phone for awhile and found out that she nursed about 20 hours a week when she was a newborn. That is a part time job!
The third, fourth, and fifth months she started to interact more and I started to feel like it was worth it....and it was special.
The sixth month I almost quit because my milk supply dropped for a week or so and our nursing sessions got frustrating for both of us.
We made it through that time though and here we are today....9 months later and still going strong.
Love you my little nursling, Copey baby.
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