Bragging Rights

My husband is an amazing man. And I want to brag on him. There are so many things I am so, so thankful for when it comes to Zach and our marriage.

The fact that I am married and have healthy marriage is proof that God is bigger than how you were raised, bigger than divorce and bigger than your fears. I saw divorce and brokeness growing up in SO many marriages. So I resolved that if that was what marriage was, I wanted no part of it. Therefore, I wasn't getting married until I was 30.

Looking back on what I used to believe about marriage and everything I didn't think I could be or do or have makes me eternally grateful for how good my God is. He turned so many things around. I was a loose cannon of woman before! I have no problem admitting it, cause it was the truth! I was rebellious, unsubmitted, didn't answer to the word "no" no matter who said it, disobedient and unhealthily independent. I was this way with my parents and the Lord.

So how does that work in a marriage!? Well, God did some work in me ya'll! Either I wasn't as jacked up as I remember being or God did a lot of work. He put people in my life that bore an example of a healthy, godly marriage all throughout Anthem. Through my pastors, leaders, and host home parents, He showed me that marriage is a blessing and what a godly wife looks like. He showed me what a godly husband looks like. For what felt like the first time, I saw that marriage didn't have to end in misery or divorce. People actually had good marriages.

What it all really boils down to is: Who is leading?

I am a leader. I have always led; in school, in sports, in work, in everything.

Now, Zach is my husband, the head of our household, the head of our family. The leader.

There can't be two leaders in anything. Everyone knows that.

So am I not a leader anymore?

Nope. Better believe I am! But I've learned that God designed marriage this way--for the man to lead and woman to trust and follow. This does not mean that I do not have a voice. This does not mean I have no say or opinion. This does not mean I am disregarded, not accounted for, not listened to, not valued, or unimportant. God designed the man to lead because, I believe, women were not created to bare the burden of being the head. We weren't created to bare the weight of what it means to truly be the leader! He created men for this. He gave them this heavy duty and responsibility.

But women are offended by this. I was. I felt undermined by this design. Like hello, why does it have to be this way? I don't like it, so I was gunna do my own thing.

You can't get married with this attitude! Well, I guess you can. But then you have a woman doing a mans job and a spineless husband not doing his job. God gave men the balls, not us :)

But, I've seen and experienced the beauty of a well oiled marriage where the wife allows the man to lead! My thinking has been transformed and I decided to do things His way because my way did not work out very well, imagine that hah.

I've learned what it means to let go and let Zach lead. And it's been beautiful. I want my kids to see this amazing thing. I want my kids to see a not perfect marriage, but a marriage of two people doing their best to do things God's way.

So, back to the bragging:

Zach lays down his life for me like Jesus laid down is life for the Church. All.the.time.

Zach pays the bills and does our finances. I am so grateful that he takes care of this because I hate it. It makes me worry, makes me crazy, makes me stressed. But he loves it, and is SO good at it. So grateful that I have a man who steps up to the plate and handles our money with intelligence and does it really well. I let this go and let him lead it.

Zach knows my love langauges. Poor guy, ever since we tied the knot suddenly I became an acts of service girl. Typical haha. BUT, nonetheless, he realized this and embraced it. He does the dishes all the time, cleans the bathrooms, cleans the whole house. Because it blesses me.

Zach is committed to one of my biggest desires; which is to see my family. He started an "Aimee go to CA" fund so I can go every couple of months for the weekend. What a man.

On that note, we also drove 12 hrs on a whim on Christmas Eve to be with my family in Sacramento for Christmas.

Zachary Charnock, I'm so in love with you. Thank you for being the most amazing husband and friend in the world.

And that about wraps up all of my current thoughts and opinions on marriage. Thanks for readin!