(That little clump of yellow is me :( Shortly before I was killed off)
We took off on Friday afternoon to Boise to see Zach's sister, her husband, and baby! We got to see Aeralyn back in March when she was about two and a half months old. It was so much fun to see how she's grown and all of the new tricks she's learned; smiling, giggling, holding her head up, rolling onto her tummy. She is the sweetest!
It was so refreshing and fun to be with Alexa and Brendon this weekend! It is always so sweet to spend time with our familiy.
As we pulled out of the driveway on Monday morning and waved bye to them a well of emotions, that is pretty easily provoked, sprung up inside of me. I was hit with this sadness. My heart just hurt for how much I miss simple things that we don't have right now like having dinner with my parents or going out to lunch after church on Sundays with the whole fam or calling up my cousins to come over or some day having grandma or grandpa watch my babies.
At this point, self pity kind of engulfed me and I ask God about 100 times why I still live 700 miles away from my family.
After whining for awhile I had to turn that self pity train around and be thankful for the good things. Sometimes I have to really search for these, haha! But, I always find them because in all of the I wish's that can happen, I know we're right where we should be and I'm thankful that we live driving distance from Brendon & Alexa and my family. I am thankful that we have the money to go there a couple of times a year. I am thankful that i have family to begin with. I am thankful for facetime.
Its always been easy to go and hard to stay for me. Go is
my middle name. In the past I’ve wrestled and rebelled when God said stay instead of go. I wrestle with it sometimes still,
but I am embracing it and am learning that there are blessings and beauty in staying.
Every
time I think about getting up or get the itch to go instead of stay, I am reminded that my life
is not my own and I do not want to go somewhere that god hasn’t yet prepared
for me.
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