Our Journey - Part 3

Annnnnddd, voila, part 3 of this article for Ann's website.

Part 3: Advice from a Young Married

Mix this all together and out comes where Zach are today; in our 2nd year of marriage with wisdom from our mistakes/experiences and an innocence and purity from the Grace and Sacrifice of Jesus. We are not perfect by any means, but with help from the Lord and people who’ve gone before us, I believe we’ve saved ourselves from some of the pitfalls marriage can entail in the early years. We have had our share of things to work out though. Here are a couple of them.

Finances

Zach is good with managing money and I am not. Therefore, we decided that he would be in charge of our finances. He paid the bills; he knew how much went where and kept track of everything so I didn’t have to. This was great…except for the fact that I had to tell Zach everything I spent money on or give him receipts for all of my purchases. I felt like I was reporting to my dad or to a manager. This made me feel guilty for spending money! I felt like I didn’t have the same authority as him when it came to our money. By no means was this his intention, it just happened because of the way we had things set up. So, I communicated my feelings to him and we searched for another way to do things. We found this handy dandy banking app on our iPhones that we could download, enter our purchases into, and see it sync to both our phones. This way I can see everything in out account, too, and we both are aware of our balances without having to “report” to each other.

Pet Peeves

Oh man, pet peeves arise with your spouse! It doesn’t matter how spiritual you are, you can lose
it sometimes if you’re not careful! We have had a couple of run ins with each other about habits that the other is not too fond of. For example, Zach slamming the toilet seat and making a loud noise with it, me eating smelly Doritos in bed, Zach snoring, me leaving hair all over the shower, Zach shaving right after we clean the bathroom, me driving crazy and making Zach carsick. We have learned that the pet peeves will go one of two ways: some things we have to let go and let the other do and some things the other can change. For example, Zach is really tall and doesn’t like to bend down to let the toilet seat down, so, I choose to be grateful that Zach puts the toilet seat down instead of being mad that it makes a loud noise. With other things we have
communicated with each other and discussed how we can be more respectful. For example, I don’t have to drive so reckless and he remembers to shave before we clean the bathroom. It is all about mutual respect, love, patience, and understanding. We do not go into an outrage on
each other and we do not dismiss each other’s feelings.

Relationships and Marriages require tools and guidance. We all need emotional and spiritual tools to keep a relationship or marriage healthy and in good shape. We all need guidance from
the Lord and people around us to make it through what life brings. Zach and I didn’t do it alone and you can’t either. I pray that you’ll find strength, comfort and encouragement in our story and know that God has good things in store for you!