Birth Story

Well here I am, laying on my stomach for the 1st time in like 20 weeks and wearing my wedding ring for the first time in about 3 months.  So to celebrate I thought it was about time I write Copelynn's birth story.

Copelynn Victoria Charnock: Faithful One

Miss Copelynn entered our lives and the world pretty quickly!  On Sunday May 5th Zach and I went to bed about 10pm. I woke up at 11:26pm (still remember the exact time) with some contractions that felt way more real than the Braxton Hicks contractions I'd been having. So until about 1am I just did stuff around the house and ate and walked around to see if the contractions would go away or stay.  Well they stayed, so I started timing them and they were already 5-10 minutes apart and 30-45 seconds long.

At 1am I woke Zach up and let him know what was going on.  From about 1-3am the contractions stayed the same and progressively got more intense and my back started to really hurt with each one.  At 3am, laying in the bath tub, I called our Midwife and told her we were ready to meet her at The Birth House because things were getting pretty painful.

So we packed up and headed over.  We settled into one of the Birth Rooms and I just kept laboring through the contractions on Zach, on the yoga ball, on the bed.  Our Doula arrived shortly after us and helped me through things along side Zach.

After about an hour they checked me and did a cervical massage--which did not feel nice at all.  I was 2 cm dilated and no water breakage or bloody show yet.  Our midwife so nicely explained that it would be best to go home and see how things progress since my water hadn't broken yet.  She suggested I try get some sleep to which i laughed because these contractions were way to intense for that! She said the contractions might go away by morning. At that point, I knew Copelynn was coming and these contractions weren't going to go away. I was so disappointed because I felt like I had been working so hard and I still had so much more to go!

So, we got home around 5am.  I waddled upstairs with Zach behind me and as soon as I stepped into the bathroom my water broke and the bloody show happened.  At that point things got INTENSE. After my water broke I could feel her moving down and it did not feel good.

For the next 3.5 hours Zach I labored upstairs--in the bathroom with me hanging around his neck, on the floor on my hands and knees, on the bed trying to use the Bradley relaxation techniques we'd learned.

Zach was the best coach EVER. I could not have done it without him.  As I labored through each strong, intense contraction he'd talk me through it and encourage me.  It helped SO much! He'd remind me to relax and not tense up and suggest other positions to get in.

The hardest part was relaxing and breathing; all I wanted to do was tense up and scream.  But that for sure just magnified the pain.

By 8am I puked like three times all over our bedroom carpet.  Poor Zach cleaned it all up as I tried to run to the bathroom and go through more contractions.   Then by 8:30 I was crying in so much back pain on my hands and knees in our room.  At this point our midwife called to check in and said by the sound of me over the phone it was time to come back in.

Zach threw a shirt and pants on me, hustled downstairs and grabbed everything again as i had another contraction on the living room floor and yelled "I have to push!" to which Zach exclaimed "Oh Shit!" and scurried around everywhere in the biggest hurry trying to get out the door.

Somehow I got into the backseat of the car and Zach drove back to the Birth House as I tried not to push and scream on all fours int the back. That was the longest 15 minute ride of my entire life.

As soon as we arrived I waddled into the Birth Room and dropped to all fours again and yelled "Can I push!?" Our midwife said "Yes honey, do whatever you're body's telling you!" So I started pushing and phew it felt good to push! It was about 9am by this point--I pushed for about an hour, and Copelynn was born at 10:16am on Monday May 6th as Zach held me up and I squatted on the floor and the midwives kneeled in front of me to catch her.

In that hour of pushing they had us in tons of different positions because Copelynn's heart rate kept dropping.  We were on the floor, in the tub, on the bed, then squatting on the floor.

I am so, so grateful for the amazing birth team I had to guide me through and support, encourage, and coach me.  They were so loving and caring.  The midwives were seriously the best.  Our Doula, Dhana, was so helpful and Zach was incredible through it all, too. If it weren't for them I would have been at the hospital getting an epidural! 

So with every ounce of energy in my bones, Copelynn's head emerged, then with two or three more pushes her shoulders came through and then she slid right out into our Midwife's hands.  Zach cried and I just held her in awe. shock, relief, and amazement.  I probably would have cried but I literally had no energy to.

And BAM, our baby girl was here! It was a crazy, surreal, out of body experience.  Going through all the labor at home wasn't necessarily our plan, but it worked out! Next time we will for sure go in earlier though! 

It was my goal to have a natural birth and i am so proud to say I did it! It was the most challenging and the most rewarding thing I've ever done in my life.  So empowering though, to know that I pushed this girl out with no drugs!  Sometimes I look at her and still don't believe it!

 minutes after birth

 car ride home!

we're home! and mama's tired :)

The other part of Copelynn's birth story was pretty shocking...after she was born of course the placenta came out and that's when it was brought to our attention that there were two placentas...

They asked me if I had had any bleeding at the beginning of my pregnancy, to which I said yes, around 7 weeks. And thats when we realized that I had been pregnant with twins...and Copelynn's twin miscarried around 7 weeks in the womb.

In the next two weeks after finding this news out we felt a lot of different things: shock, sadness, grief... I had a few really real, honest moments with the Lord about Copelynn's twin and loosing him.  I grieved him and I cried whenever I needed to.  In the moments between feedings and diaper changes, Zach and I talked about it and held each other as we cried.

It is very weird experience to have an amazing, precious baby girl in our arms and then also grieve a lost baby at the same time.

In my conversations with the Lord I asked what his name was and God said Matthew, which means gift.  And a gift he was to us for those 7 short weeks in my womb.  He was ours--if only for 7 weeks in my belly. He was a part of our family.  And I am honored to have taken care of him in my belly, on this Earth, for those 7 weeks.  And we might never know why God took him home to heaven and allowed Copelynn to be with us here on Earth, but we do know that he is experiencing a more perfect love there in heaven than we could have ever given him here on Earth. Having the hope that he is with Jesus and we will see him again allows us to really be at peace. Yeah, we are sad and hurt, but we are at peace.

Before Copelynn was born I wrote her a letter. In my time thinking about Matthew and talking to the Lord about him, I decided to write him a letter, too. 


Matthew,

I love you and I wish so bad that I could have met you, seen your face, looked into your eyes, kissed your cheeks, nursed you and your sister side by side. But you are up in heaven now with Jesus, seeing what we all wait so patiently down here to see--God's glory face to face.  I cherish the time I got to spend with you in my belly.  Your daddy and I are grateful for you. We're honored and privledged to be your parents.  You are a gift, Matthew.  A gift that has impacted our lives and we'll never be the same because of your life, son.  We have grieved, but son, we will celebrate your life along with your sister's every May 6th.  We will remember you and honor you. We will not forget you. 

Love your Mommy.