The Weight of the Scale

I don't have any cute pictures for this post, just an update on life in the Charnock Household....so if you're not our friends or family you might be bored. If you are our friends or family, you most likely live in another state and are excited to hear about life!

 

Pregnancy is getting real. Really real. Up until now, I didn't really have any of the stereotypical pregnancy symptoms or aches/pains.  I had a growing belly, but wasn't like "get this baby outta me". But oh, things have changed.  I've reached the point that I'm guessing all women proably do...where you're just ready to have this baby. Ready to bring this little miracle into the world and out of your body.  I love that I get to carry this girl and be the vessel that she develops in for the 1st 10 months of her existence, but MAN, my feet and hands are swollen. My wedding ring won't come off. And I long to wear all the clothes in my closet that haven't fit for months and months. I find myself on pinterest and in stores dreamily looking at non-maternity clothes like they're Zach without a shirt on.

 

Speaking of Zach without a shirt on; he's lost 30+ pounds as of today! And as of today, I have gained 30+ pounds! 

 

The weight gain thing has gotten to me a few times in this pregnancy. After the scale told me how much I've gained in the past 33.5 weeks I had to have a heart to heart with myself.  It's easy to get down about it and think dear Lord, how long will it take me to look like I used to after this baby comes out. But I snapped out of that black hole just about as fast as I went in it. Because it is just a number.  Why do we let a number on a scale drive us nuts or take up so much of our thought life and cause so much anxiety?  Weight's never been a huge issue for me....I've never struggled with being overweight or wanting to loose tons of weight. But, I am still a woman and still struggle from time to time with my body image. Just like the rest of the women in the world.

 

But I find that I struggle with it when I'm not seeing myself through God's eyes. We're our worst critics right?  I can judge myself, be critical of myself, and think things about myself that'd be so ridicuously rude if I were doing it to someone else. And if I were to judge someone the way I judge myself sometimes, I'd have to go apologize real bad to them.  So why do I do it to myself then? Like I'm not worthy of the same respect and love that others are?

 

So last night in my conversation with myself and the Lord about all of this, I was reminded that I am a daughter of God 

A daughter of the most high King.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made in his image

And I need to see myself the way he sees me--perfectly made, beautiful, lovely, just right, captivating, gorgeous, stunning...

no matter what the scale says.

 

And instead of focusing on the petty things that don't matter, like weight, I need to spent my energy just being in awe of the miracle taking place inside of me.

 

When I excercise the self dicipline it takes to take every thought captive and examine it before the Word to see if it lines up with what God says or not, I am able to love myself the way Jesus loves me. I am able to extend the grace and mercy necessary to love myself just for who I am--inside and out. Even when it's a work in progress!