30 Weeks

I had my 30 week checkup a couple of days ago and walked out of the midwifery with my head spinning.

 

 

"she just talked about getting the carseat in the car"

"we just bought the mattress for the crib and a pack-n-play"

 

 

"the baby showers are over and we now have a list of last items to get"

 

 

"there are clothes hanging in Copelynn's closet....that she'll be wearing SOON"

"I'm buying strollers from my friends"

"I'll be joining their stay at home mom club soon"

 

This little girl will be here REALLY soon! 10 weeks or less! Time is winding down and as it gets closer and closer, I feel more and more overwhelmed. Not with anxiety or fear. Overwelmed in a this is really happening way. Overcome with disbelief and excitement and nerves and readiness for this new season. Like I'm about to get on a sweet roller coaster that will be so fun and scary and exciting (I love roller coasters, so if you don't you should just ignore that analogy).

 

The more I think about it all, the more sentimental I feel. I've been pondering the fact that we will never be here in this season ever again.

 

I will never be entering motherhood for the 1st time ever again

Our home will never house just a married couple with no kids ever again

Our family never be just Zach and I ever again

 

The last time I felt these feelings was high school graduation and our Anthem graduation.  Times in life when I was on the brink of the most change I'd ever expereinced. We spent 18 years in school with our friends and then were expelled out into the "real world" to figure a whole new life out....all while singing that Vitamin C song.

 

And then there was Anthem. We spent two years completely immersed in such a concentrated enviroment of God's presence and the church and full-blown, full-time, every second of the day ministry with the same group of tight-knit Jesus-loving people. We were stretched beyond belief, we grew, we cried, we laughed, we learned...And then we were commissioned out into the "real world" again to figure out a whole new life. 

 

Both of those seasons I found myself feeling like

-I'm so ready for what's next

-But, how can life be any better than it has been?

 

And now, here I am again....feeling those exact same things. I feel so ready to welcome all the changes into our lives that this baby girl will bring. This time around, though, I don't feel that "how can life be any better than it has been?" thing. I know that the best is yet to come and we'll think "how did we live without her."

 

Welcoming Copelynn into the world is exciting, terrifying, sobering, scary....

 

Because there are so many new things about to happen that we've never experience before. 

 

And we are bringing a little life into the world that is completely ours to take care of and more imortantly raise in God's ways.

 

And this is just the beginning of seeing God's promises fullfilled in our lives and our kid's lives.  I am excited to see what we have prayed about and prepared for for years now come to pass. 

 

And we're leaving behind the life we've known and adding someone else to our family way.  It's scary to know that it'lll never just be the two of us again. At the same time, this is also one of the most exciting things too. 

 

 

 

So, all in all, I am overwelmed with joy and excitement and expectancy.  I feel like we are so ready. I'm filled with unbelief that Copelynn will be here with us in just two months. I'm filled with unbelief that I'll be quitting my job and staying home with her in just two months. Can't wait :)