Big Fear

I literally spent about half of a day debating whether or not to blog about this today. After bounching it back & forth like a ping pong ball in my head, I decided to just do it. If I'm going to have a blog and share my life, I might as well really do it right? right.


Long before I ever met Zach and long before we ever got married, I've had this fear...this fear of infertility.

what?

Yeah, infertility.

This is just about my worst fear. Is it any one elses fear? I mean, miscarriages and abnormalties that cause pregnancies to unexpectedly end seem so common these days, so I would guess that ALOT more women than we think stuggle with this at some point.

Reality and logic give us alot of reason to fear this and worry about this. But, the other day when I was reading my bible God really intervened in this area of my mind.

Matthew 4: 3-11

This is where the devil tries to tempt Jesus when he's at his weakest. Two times in a row the devil quotes scripture to Jesus and twists it to use against Jesus. The devil has whispered ever so softly in my mind, so strategically, too, just as he did with Jesus way back then. He is using the same tactics today. And I'm aware of them, they're not a secret...trying to twist things ever so slighlty. We have to fight against these things and declare the Truth of the Word over our lives, fears, insecurities, worries, futures, family and friends. 

We all have a choice. We can live in fear and worry or believe the promises of God.Reality and logic can so consume me sometimes, but I want to be so consumed and filled up by the Word of God that there is no room in my mind and heart for reality and logic..only room for God's promises and truth.

As a follower of Jesus, I know that there is a God who loves me and also an enemy who doesn't. And the enemy has just been preying on this fear in my life, making me play out events that haven't even happen yet...adoption or truely not being able to conceive. I know this attack is not just on one of my dreams, but on a promise of God.

Powerful words have been spoken over us--that our family and our kids will be different. The line will be drawn in the sand with our family when it comes to the strongholds that've been passed down through our families--strongholds of divorce, lies, secrets, etc. Those will not carry on, those bonds stop with us. 

So of course the devil would like me to believe that we won't have kids. Cause those kids and our family will be a huge threat to hell and mighty in the Kingdom of God. They will change our family lines, they will change their cities and their communities and the world....because Zach and I have chosen Jesus and chosen to love and serve him always.


Let's not follow the devils trail of lies anymore. Let's choose to believe in the promises that God has given us--no matter what. Let's choose to believe that they are true and that our God does not lie to us. 

Our god is faithful.