A look back as our wedding draws near- So thankful for all He's done

So we are just two weeks and two days out from our BIG day, our wedding day. It is still pretty surreal when I think about myself just two or three years ago. God has done so much and changed my life in so many ways...it is amazing that i am now so content, peace-filled, and excited for something that I was so fearful of and opposed to not that long ago. When confronted with the subject of marriage I always exclaimed bodly "I'm not getting married for like 8 years" because I had "so much to do" and "so much to see" before that happened. I wanted to go to college, graduate, travel, make a name for myself, figure out who I was. But really, behind that fake excuse was the reality that I was extremely afraid of marriage. I wanted nothing to do with something that I had only seen end in disapointment, hurt, pain, or divorce. The picutres of marriage that I had experienced and seen growing up were very negative. I was determined to stay as distant as possible from it because I had no intentions of being involved in something that would fail and that I didn't know how to do. I didn't think God could create someone that could "handle" someone like me. I didn't think I could be a good wife. That spot inside my soul was so insecure and undiscovered. It was like a taped off spot in my heart labeled "dangerous" and "do not enter." I was REALLY good at being independent. I had that gig down like nobody's business. It's like I found my niche and excelled greatly in it. I KNEW how to make things happen on my own. I KNEW how to function without someone else in my life like a guy. I KNEW I didn't need a man...and, I also KNEW the daunting fact that I didn't know how to have a healthy, successful, romantic relationship. So, I pursued all the wrong guys throughout my high school years. I let guys in my life that were lost, confused, insecure, and needy. I led so they didn't have to. Because I led, they didn't even have a chance to....although, I don't think any of them would have even known how to anyway. So I walked around everyday with all of these ungodly beliefs about myself and marriage just plaguing me and stunting my relational growth. And it had been this way for so long that I just didn't know what to do with it. I named it as normal; I thought it was just the way I was. And now, as I take moments like this to look back on these things I can only REJOICE with everything in me because I am not that girl anymore!! I look back on what used to be and cannot believe how completely God has healed all these things in me! I look back on these things and praise God for all He's done. I look back on these things and cannot do anything but stand in complete awe! God turned all of these things around! He rid my heart of the lies I had believed of myself and marriage all my life. He healed my hurt and disappointment. He forgave all of my mistakes, promiscuity, my wandering, and my sin. Meeting Zach, dating Zach, getting engaged to Zach, and now marrying Zach has shown me just a tiny part of all God had for me all along! And I have realized that the enemy had very strategic, detailed, thought out plans to keep me from entering into the gifts and love God always had for me! BUT he didn't prevai!! And it just makse me tear up because I, bold, independent, outgoing, go-getter, capable, make-it-happen Aimee, am not responsible for any of this healing and redemption! God loved me so much that HE delivered me and healed me and led me to this place of renewal, beauty, and truth!! I felt like I was just born into not being able to gert married or stay married because I was surrounded by such relational devestation and divorce. I felt like I just had no hope, no chance at all. And here I am now getting married to someone that surpasses all of my dreams and desires! This wedding, this engagement, this marraige is just a picture of the mighty hand and destiny of God. It is just a picture of God's redemption, heart, ability, and love.