The One that got Away

I was reading in 2Sam 18 the other day about King David and his son Absalom. David was betrayed by his son, lied to by his son, wronged by his son, and everything else you could think of. In this chapter David learns that Absalom was killed. Sameul tells us how distraught and grieved David was at this news.


2 Samuel 18: 33 says "Then the king was deeply moved and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And as he went, he said thus 'O my son Absalommy son, my son Absalomif only if I had died in your place! O Absalom, my son, my son!'"

After everything Absalom had done to wrong his father and destroy their relationship, his dad still LOVED him. He was still David’s son.

And this is how Jesus feels about us. We cannot do anything to revoke our sonship/daughtership with our Heanvenly Father. Sin leads us away from Jesus, but nothing changes the fact that we are and will always be His sons and daughters.

This reminded me of something I wrote Jan 2011.

The one that got away

My heart bleeds and my heart aches
for the one that got away
the one far off, filled with anger and filled with hate
unforgiveness has wrapped its chains around your heart
to suffocate
so you won’t change and always be
the one that got away

But freedom calls your name
and love beckons you to the place
of undeserved grace
to reach your heart and revive your soul
so you can see the truth and His Majesty

In His presence all can be made new
In His presence righteousness will overtake you
So I'll lift my prayers to heaven for you
so you don’t have to stay
the one that got away

 

 

That is my prayer today, that wayward sons and daughters would know the saving love and grace of Jesus, that their hearts would be softened and open to hear His voice again. That people around them who know the Lord would have the same burden for them as I do! That Jesus would bring revelation to their hearts of this truth—that they are STILL sons/daughters, no matter what they’ve done.  And I pray that knowing the love of their heavenly father would in turn radically change their relationships with their earthly dad.  I pray forgiveness and healing would flow like a river through their hearts. Thank you Jesus that’s there is never a gap too big for you to fill.  

Happy Valentines!

Happy Valentine's day from T, C, and A. Been lovin eachother since 1989!

Bragging Rights

My husband is an amazing man. And I want to brag on him. There are so many things I am so, so thankful for when it comes to Zach and our marriage.

The fact that I am married and have healthy marriage is proof that God is bigger than how you were raised, bigger than divorce and bigger than your fears. I saw divorce and brokeness growing up in SO many marriages. So I resolved that if that was what marriage was, I wanted no part of it. Therefore, I wasn't getting married until I was 30.

Looking back on what I used to believe about marriage and everything I didn't think I could be or do or have makes me eternally grateful for how good my God is. He turned so many things around. I was a loose cannon of woman before! I have no problem admitting it, cause it was the truth! I was rebellious, unsubmitted, didn't answer to the word "no" no matter who said it, disobedient and unhealthily independent. I was this way with my parents and the Lord.

So how does that work in a marriage!? Well, God did some work in me ya'll! Either I wasn't as jacked up as I remember being or God did a lot of work. He put people in my life that bore an example of a healthy, godly marriage all throughout Anthem. Through my pastors, leaders, and host home parents, He showed me that marriage is a blessing and what a godly wife looks like. He showed me what a godly husband looks like. For what felt like the first time, I saw that marriage didn't have to end in misery or divorce. People actually had good marriages.

What it all really boils down to is: Who is leading?

I am a leader. I have always led; in school, in sports, in work, in everything.

Now, Zach is my husband, the head of our household, the head of our family. The leader.

There can't be two leaders in anything. Everyone knows that.

So am I not a leader anymore?

Nope. Better believe I am! But I've learned that God designed marriage this way--for the man to lead and woman to trust and follow. This does not mean that I do not have a voice. This does not mean I have no say or opinion. This does not mean I am disregarded, not accounted for, not listened to, not valued, or unimportant. God designed the man to lead because, I believe, women were not created to bare the burden of being the head. We weren't created to bare the weight of what it means to truly be the leader! He created men for this. He gave them this heavy duty and responsibility.

But women are offended by this. I was. I felt undermined by this design. Like hello, why does it have to be this way? I don't like it, so I was gunna do my own thing.

You can't get married with this attitude! Well, I guess you can. But then you have a woman doing a mans job and a spineless husband not doing his job. God gave men the balls, not us :)

But, I've seen and experienced the beauty of a well oiled marriage where the wife allows the man to lead! My thinking has been transformed and I decided to do things His way because my way did not work out very well, imagine that hah.

I've learned what it means to let go and let Zach lead. And it's been beautiful. I want my kids to see this amazing thing. I want my kids to see a not perfect marriage, but a marriage of two people doing their best to do things God's way.

So, back to the bragging:

Zach lays down his life for me like Jesus laid down is life for the Church. All.the.time.

Zach pays the bills and does our finances. I am so grateful that he takes care of this because I hate it. It makes me worry, makes me crazy, makes me stressed. But he loves it, and is SO good at it. So grateful that I have a man who steps up to the plate and handles our money with intelligence and does it really well. I let this go and let him lead it.

Zach knows my love langauges. Poor guy, ever since we tied the knot suddenly I became an acts of service girl. Typical haha. BUT, nonetheless, he realized this and embraced it. He does the dishes all the time, cleans the bathrooms, cleans the whole house. Because it blesses me.

Zach is committed to one of my biggest desires; which is to see my family. He started an "Aimee go to CA" fund so I can go every couple of months for the weekend. What a man.

On that note, we also drove 12 hrs on a whim on Christmas Eve to be with my family in Sacramento for Christmas.

Zachary Charnock, I'm so in love with you. Thank you for being the most amazing husband and friend in the world.

And that about wraps up all of my current thoughts and opinions on marriage. Thanks for readin!

Anniversary Weekend

I can't believe we've been married for a year! A year ago on Oct 10th, Z and I got married. To celebrate we went to Seattle for a couple of nights. I love vacation for many different reasons. I consider myself a healthy person and don't usually spurge on stuff because i like to be healthy but vacation means that goes out at the window. hellloooooo. bring on the soda, desert, whatever food we want. Love it.

If there's one thing I've learned about my husband since we've been married its that he loves going out to eat. Whatever it is about it, he just loves it. So, we ate alot, no complaining here! Chipotle, always a favorite. Dominos, yes on our anniversary :). Starbucks, of course. Red Robin, all American just like Zach. Olive Garden, never disappointing. By the way, have you ever seen Chipotle's "kid" chip bags? I got one and they're the cutest thing ever. you'll have to Google a picture because i forgot to take one.

Zach also loves aquariums. And i do, too, Montery Bay aquarium is the BEST. Seattle Aquarium was decent. Sorry Seattle, I'm a tough critic sometimes. We definetly missed the bring your kid day memo! But saw a lot of fish!

We also saw the Blueman group @ The Paramount Theater! It was our first time seeing these guys and it was well worth it--we were thoroughly entertained, highly recommend their show! For those of you who don't know who they are, I'm not even sure how to describe them. yeah they're that good! They're like a comedians / musicians / entertainers. Check em out on youtube.com

What a great year of marriage it has been. It makes me so sentimental because i never wanted to get married and never thought i would be married at 22--because I was afraid of it (thats another blog for another day). But oh how blessed i am. so so beyond blessed. Zach is the most loving, caring, attentive man in the world. I fall more and more in love with him everyday. What's by best marriage advise after 1 year? Talk about everything. Make sure your spouse is aware how you feel about them everyday and learn their love language.